Warning :-
1) Fans of Sonam Kapoor or Anil Kapoor are strictly prohibited from reading this post.
2) Watching Aisha is injurious to your health.
The Circumstances :-
I am a big-time movie enthusiast but I generally prefer watching movies on my laptop. However, if the movie is too good, I opt to go in a theatre. By implementing what you call as “Reverse Psychology”, I can say that I have liked all the movies which I had watched in theatres till now. But I never knew that today this fate was written to be changed. So, I went to watch Aisha today. Some people might accuse me of extreme-vellapanti since I have started going to watch such movies (earlier I went to watch Twilight) after getting placed. Believe me guys I was forcefully taken to watch it.
The day started like any other normal day rather it was even more exciting. My cousin brother had come and I was supposed to treat him and my sister. Please note that I had already treated my sister by taking her to watch “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” (but it seems she is inspired from Inception and believes in multiple-levels of treats. This was her second level of treat….2 more to go). We decided to go for a movie. Thanks to the roads jammed by the Kanwarias (Google them to know who they are), there were only 2 theatres left which were nearby our house and where we could have reached safely without being beaten by the Kanwarias. “Once upon a time in Mumbai”, “Predators” and “Aisha” were the three movies they were screening (no Inception or Salt. Are the theatre owners insane ???). My cousin didn’t wanted to go for Predators (he didn’t like movies with screaming and ugly looking creatures) and my sister said a blunt no for Once Upon…..Mumbai (no particular reasons). I was ready to go to any damn movie except Aisha. Sadly, my cousin took her side and he also got ready to watch Aisha. I desperately wanted to prove that the movie is not worth watching and so I searched for its ratings in TOI but OMG, Nikhat Kazmi had given it 4-out-of-5 stars (after watching the movie later I realized that this man needs to refer a psychiatrist). Anyways, my voice was subdued and we headed towards the multiplex to have once-in-a-lifetime-experience…………
Reaching the theatre when I entered the queue and asked for tickets for Aisha, a group of young men started giving me a look full of contempt as if I was a gay man (NO offense to anyone). They had come to watch Once Upon….Mumbai (envy……….lucky men, they were). Enough about the circumstances, time to discuss the movie.
Aisha: The Movie :-
If anyone reading the blog is curious enough to know about the theme of the movie, I could easily describe it in two simple words, “Ms. Sonam Kapoor” (or should I say Ms. Aisha Kapoor). Produced by her daddy Mr. Anil Kapoor, it seemed to me more like a promotional video for Sonam Kapoor than an A-Grade bollywood movie. The movie was an attempt by daddy-jee to show all the acting skills of her baby-girl. 70% of the time (approximately of course, I wasn’t sitting there with a stop-watch in hand) the camera was focused on Sonam, how she laughs, how she dances, how she cries, how she fights (verbally of course, she is no Rakhi Sawant), and all other such crap activities she does, they have shown everything. They have also tried to flaunt the glamorous side of Sonam. The money spent on her dresses was surely more than the rest of the budget of the movie. You could find her wearing a new dress every few minutes and her skirt was getting shorter every 15 minutes (Damn! I like longer movies). Let’s discuss the storyline now.
The movie is a complex love-Octagon. There are 7 characters other than Ms. Sonam, who plays a match-maker or cupid in the movie. And yeah, Sonam has pretty well portrayed the role of the dumbest girl practically feasible (even Bella from Twilight would have scored a 150 in IQ compared to Aisha). Anyways, each one of the 8 characters is in love with some other person who is in love with some third person and so on. I can’t describe it anymore, its entangled, may be you need a complex 8-variable equation or a complex graph with 8 nodes to denote the exact relationships. It seemed that Mr. India (Anil Kapoor – just in case a Bollywood newbie is reading this post) wanted to give the viewers some suspense in the movie (It’s a completely different story that he ended up giving headaches instead). Other than this, the movie is full of girly-stuff as well, lot of shopping, make-up, boutiques, trendy clothes and girly-talks; you will find these in plenty in the movie.
If any Sonam or Anil Kapoor fan is reading this post, despite of the warning above, he/she might blame me that I have not mentioned anything good about the movie. I liked a few things as well. Music was good, no it was awesome. Abhay Deol acted well (but sorry Abhay beta it was not your flick, it was produced for Baby Sonam, and you were just playing a side role). Another girl named Pinky acted nicely as well (Notice the name Pinky here; I told you there was a lot of girly stuff in the movie). Other than these…..hmm….lemme think what else I liked…………. (After 10 minutes) still thinking…………..Got it. Other than this I liked the pop-corns and the trailers which they showed at the start and during the intermission (The trailers were much more interesting than the movie).
“All bad things come to an end”. I realized the authenticity of this statement when the movie screen flashed The End. By the end, I was in a traumatic state (my sister and my cousin were not in a good state either). The other people coming out of the hall were also PRAISING the movie in the following words…..”Kya Bakwaas movie thee”, “Chalo finally khatam huee” and of course the legendary “Jheloo movie”.
Though Censor Board has given the movie a U certificate (A-Adult, U-Universal, PG- Parental Guidance), but this movie very well deserves the category B (B-Beware). I hope you have got some idea about the movie now. If you are vella as well and have the dare to try outrageous things, then go watch Aisha.
Disclaimer :- I am not in the right mental state after watching this movie, so please ignore any grammatical or syntax mistakes you find.
